We’ve all had those moments – utter despair, blinding rage, simmering anger.
It’s from that place that “happiness” is the most scary.
It’s scary because:
- It’s almost inconceivable that we could be happy again
- It’s such a huge shift that if feels uncomfortable to contemplate…much less actual do
- It’s scary to fake it through because if you’ve lived long enough, you know that stuffing dispair, rage or anger just means it’s gonna leak out again later…probably at the most inconvenient time!
What to do?
First step: feel the feelings…no matter how uncomfortable. If there is any way you get get alone for even 15 minutes to just have a crying jag or a hissy fit…it’ll help
Next: don’t aim for happy, go for “neutral”. Think about your basic human needs: get enough sleep, eat healthy, nourishing foods, get out and breath fresh air, take a walk, exercise even. Try to avoid sugar, alcohol and junk food…that stuff tends to take us on a roller coaster ride. We feel better for a bit then wham we’re down again. Try your own experiment here and see what works for you.
Then: When you’re at neutral, now it’s time to start thinking about being happy. What made you happy in the past? What are you dreaming about for the future. What happy making things can you provide for yourself?
Need more tips? Check out The Happiness Handbook for more info about how to clear the crap, decide what makes you happy, communicate it effectively and then…get your happy dance on.
This Halloween…hopefully only the trick-or-treaters will scare you!
- The sun on my face
- Baseball games
- Grilling out
- Margaritas (with the embasis on “s”)
- Outdoor live music
These are just a few of my summer favorites. How about you?
Stay close! The book, “The Happiness Handbook” is just about ready. This fall you’ll be able to get it on ipad, Kindle and print on demand!
Yesterday, I just did my very first pre-launch talk about the book at the Raise My Vibes workshop. We got to do 3 exercises for the book, including taking a crack at your own Happy Dance! And the men in the room verified that the Happy Dance does indeed give the right positive reinforcement for happy making events they provide!
Why start a blog about happiness with a post about sorrow?
Well, if I had started from happiness I probably would have never written a book about happiness. I’m also guessing that most people don’t google “happiness” when they are happy! So, let’s start the blog here, at “not quite happy”.
Plus, I recently had a sorrow inducing event. My book’s about to come out and I’m launching this blog about happiness and…I have been less than happy.
I took out my book and I looked at the things that make me happy and I just wasn’t there with it. It wasn’t time to “turn the frown upside down” (I hate that line!). I needed the space to cry – actually weeping would be more correct! I needed to get angry and allow myslef to be angry. It didn’t feel right to just stuff all that emothio and just “be happy”. That didn’t feel authentic to me.
I wanted to choose happiness – but not at the expense of avoiding or ignoring what was really going on. So, I’m hanging with it.
Next time – Techniques for moving anger and sorrow.
If you could have it anyway you want for yourself how would that be? When I first heard that sentence I had no idea and I was also pretty sure it wasn’t possible anyway. Life was mostly work and obligations, oh and I wasn’t very happy either.
Is that you too?
The Happiness Handbook is a witty romp along the path to your own clarity.
And when you are all done, it’s a tangible thing that you can hand your sweetie and say “Honey, this is the ultimate guide to the care and feeding of me.” How awesome is that!
- You’ll be clear on what makes you happy
- You’ll communicate it clearly to the people you love
- They will do it and
- You will be happy!
And if they don’t do it…well, we’ll talk more about that in the book!
Now, are you ready to have it just how you want for yourself? You can, you know.
Subscribe to the blog now and receive a free 20 page teaser! The book is due out in 2009.